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Thank you bowel cancer.

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Yesterday I had my last blood test to check my CEA levels. This has been my wee ritual every 3 months for the last 5 years. 20 blood tests have come back showing my tumor marker levels within a normal range, along with more MRI’s and CT scans then I can count and the final conclusion is that after a bloody hard battle I am now cancer free. Ill repeat that again. I am now cancer free. What does that mean for me? Well it means that every time I feel cold when no one else does that sinking feeling won’t creep in. When I just can’t seem to catch up on sleep and I feel so tired, it will just be because I’m hustling so hard, not because the cancer is back. Body aches and pains will just be from pushing myself at the gym. Just because I reached the mile stone of remission on Tuesday doesn’t mean that all these fears are erased immediately. It will take time to adjust to this new feeling of safety, just like it took time to adjust to the idea that I had cancer.   When I speak to peopl
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Throw kindness around like confetti.

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I write this post as I sit on the toilet with tears streaming down my face. I don’t write this for sympathy or as means to get attention. I felt the need to write this post because I know there are so many people out there that struggle like I am and I don’t think enough people talk about it. They may not be cancer survivors like me but they may have crones, ulcerative colitis, fibromyalgia or osteoporosis . These are just some of many silent ailments that people struggle with each day. I have had the pleasure of inviting a lot of new people into my life over the past year which I am so grateful for but most of these people do not know my full story. So here is a condensed version of my last four years to catch you up before I go onto why I am really writing this post. My health gradually declined in subtle ways during my pregnancy with Isobel, around her first birthday things really started gaining speed and by the time she was 15 months old I was going to the bathroom up to 2
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I CAUGHT THE FEELS

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Sitting on the beautiful black sand at Ngarunui Beach in Raglan seems like the right time to think about some hard topics.  I’ve been dating for a few months now. I wasn’t looking for a relationship or Mr. Right; I was just dipping my toes in the dating pool to see what’s out there. I’ve met some really great people and also some really unusual people. I’ve had fun and I’ve learnt a lot about myself and also what I am looking for in my next partner.  About two months ago I went on a date with basically the first decent guy I’ve matched with on Tinder (don’t judge its hard meeting people as an adult!). He had all his teeth, didn’t appear to have any gang connections, had a good sense of humor and held a great conversation and at first glance he didn’t seem to be a chauvinistic narcissist. So hey, what was the harm in meeting for a drink. I didn’t expect him to be my type; in fact I had Kim on standby ready for a Code 10 text so she could get me out of there! Little did I know
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THIS IS WHO I AM NOW

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It’s funny because when I started my last blog the words just flowed. I didn’t have to think much about what I was writing I just put fingers to keys and let it happen. I have thought a lot about my first post for this page and I haven’t known where to start. There are so many different aspects of my life now that are all intertwined but somehow separate at the same time. They involve other people’s lives, which makes me mindful of how I write about situations. Some of the topics I want to talk about are ones that some people have very strong opinions on and I needed to make sure I was ready to open that door. Some people will have already formed an opinion on my current life or past behaviour that is conflicting to the truth behind closed doors. Do I even want to go down that path? Do I care enough about these opinions to give them the time of day by writing about them? What do I want to achieve with this blog? So I decided tonight I might just do my introduction and work from th
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